Getting Results, But At What Cost?

What does long-term career success look like to you?

Working 12+ hour days, chasing the next deal, putting out fires and constantly feeling exhausted, thinking of your family when you’re at the office, and the office when you’re with your family. You sleep poorly, your workouts and stamina are becoming a distant memory, and you can’t remember the last time you actually flirted with your significant other? 

This it turns out, is not the recipe for long-term success. And yet, it’s how so many high-level executives are trying to grind their way to the top. This white-knuckling approach only works for so long.

When I’m working with clients to better know and grow themselves, they become consciously aware of their energy levels. They learn what drains and enhances their energy. As a result, they develop better control over their thoughts, emotions, and behavior, raise their overall energy, and increase their ability to achieve the results they ultimately desire from any given situation.

If you find yourself caught in a cycle of emotional reactivity, and struggling to lead with more confidence, ease, and resilience, I’ll tell you what I tell my clients—it all begins with a deep breath.

It’s not as far out there as it sounds. Let me explain.

What’s Your Personal Leadership Style?

Ask yourself, how many of these feel familiar to you?

1. With Your Team

• Frustrated you can’t seem to get ahead, even delegating tasks, creating boundaries and saying ‘No’ to more things.

• Constantly putting out fires, caught in a cycle of emotional reactivity, and second guessing your instincts.

• Aggravated you can’t find the right people to surround yourself with and the constant battle to inspire and motivate them. You just wish they would carry their weight and earn their pay.

2. With Work Colleagues

• You have strong opinions about what’s right and who’s holding you back.

• No one is working as hard as you are. They’re lazy, doing things wrong, and just getting in the way.

• No reservations about telling people they’re clueless about what’s going on, or how to do their job. Your anger and disgust are difficult to hide.

3. With Your Family

• Often appearing to care more about your inbox than spending time with your family, even while on vacation. They aren’t a priority--not important enough to receive your best energy or undivided attention.

• You feel guilty and dissatisfied about not spending quality time with your partner, not being present with your kids, and even while taking your dog for a walk you’re talking on the phone, or replying to emails.

Are You Ready To Be A Better Leader?

Take 5 deep breaths, try exhaling longer than you inhale, if you can. When we breathe like this it activates our parasympathetic nervous system, dropping our heart rate and lowering our blood pressure, which allows us to think more clearly, and respond as our best selves.

Next, ask yourself these questions:

1. When I start to feel stressed, what are the warning signs?

2. What’s my default response? How is this energy serving me?

3. What might it be costing me?

Then give yourself some space and time to consider the responses you’ve come up with, as well as other potential ways of seeing the situation. You don’t have to choose to move forward differently right this second.

Just realizing that there are other ways to look at something, lessens the power of an interpretation and improves your ability to choose how you’d like to respond, rather than react, when the situation comes up again.

Be open to meaningful transformation, rather than quick to get back to your default way of getting results. While that may feel more comfortable initially, five years from now, you want to be celebrating personal growth and professional milestones achieved, not asking yourself how you got to where you are, and still aren’t where you want to be. 

It Can Feel Lonely Climbing To The Top

You might feel alone. But you’re not. I work with professionals just like you, all the time.

Very few people know what it’s like to walk around with the stress on your shoulders that someone on Wall Street, or in the C-suite carries. It can be a very lonely place at the top, very few of us have been here, and I happen to have this unique background that allows me to know what it’s like to be you, because I’ve been in your shoes.

Having someone in your corner who can see the whole picture, and has no ulterior motive other than to see you succeed, is how consistently high performers across every field stay at the top of their games.

Do you have someone in your corner? Perhaps it’s time.

If you find yourself frustrated with your employees, and the constant battle to inspire and motivate them so that they can do their best work, shoot me an email and we can talk.

WHO IS REMM CURTIS?

REMM CURTIS is an executive coach working with NYC and beyond's best and brightest leaders stay at the top of their game. If you would like to talk about what the best version of you could look like, get in touch.